The Funeral Party

When I went to the doctor last Tuesday, he said I only needed to do a thyroid test and a beta hcg test; no ultrasound because there wasn't really any point to one. He told me to come back in 8-12 weeks if I wasn't pregnant by then. My test results came back the next day and my beta hcg was I believe close to non-detectable, much as I had expected, but my TSH is back up to 5.4. The upper limit of normal is 5.5, so I wonder what it will be the next time. I have noticed how quiet and depressed and sluggish I am feeling lately, I'm sure primarily due to the miscarriage, but maybe exascerbated by the hypothyroidism I'm heading towards.

This past weekend we had a rather large bbq and Mark had a great time. I drank a little but not enough to not feel sad at the 1 pregnancy, 2 babies, and 10 toddlers/preschoolers we had over. I had no idea we knew so many kids. I managed to tell 3 of my friends about the miscarriage so far. Only the one who has had 2 miscarriages herself hasn't said anything stupid or unknowingly hurtful, and I didn't really get a chance to talk to her about how she got over them.

I was only able today to get around to taking down the pregnancy ticker I had posted here. It sucked having to do so.

Then on Father's Day I ended up getting into yet another screaming fit w/ my dad, culminating with me telling him fuck you and hanging up. It hasn't been a very good couple of weeks around here.

The Manling is getting into mischief and I should probably go figure out what it is.